


11 Years of Christmas

by Fictropes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009-2020, Epistolary, Established Relationship, M/M, brief angst due to...2012, christmas through the years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:53:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictropes/pseuds/Fictropes
Summary: Christmas texts throughout the years.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 131





	11 Years of Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [calvinahobbes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/calvinahobbes/gifts).



> hi cal!!!!! I saw you didn't end up with a gift for the exchange, but I just thought you really deserved one! so here we go ( i used your epistolary prompt :D). hopefully it might be a mistake and there's a fic stashed away in a draft... and u get two :P. Bold is Phil and normal is Dan!
> 
> I will still anon this cos that is all part of the funsies :P.
> 
> i'm so sorry this isn't beta'd! everyone is ... busy ha:P (i think I managed to get every text that was meant to be bolded... and every dan text not lol!)

Christmas Day 2009: 

**so u have 2 promise to not kill me if i say something D:**

Hmm… do i tho? 

**yes! u would miss me 2 much**

maybeeeeee. wot is it? is it about how much you love my xmas present? 

**OBVIOUSLY i love it ;3. it’s from u <3**

stawwwp. u are making me blush at the table

**love it when you do that. wanna kiss your cheeks every time**

PHIL!

**rofl xD sorry sorry. i will be a good Phil**

what is it? 

**OH! my thing. my thing is… all i want for Christmas is you <3333**

hate u so much

**:(**

can i tell you something 2? 

**u dont even have to ask, dan. just word vomit at me. love hearing everything u ever say**

hmmppppppffff. u are making me turn into a pile of goo ;3. gonna mistake me for mash potato and serve me up for dinner

**i would eat u ;)**

u have already eaten me.remember? 

**god of course i remember. but i can’t remember right now cos my mum is looking at me <_<**

just sneak off 2 the toilet :D.

**it’s christmas! i can’t wank on christmas Santa will know >:(**

ughhh. innocent boyo. what if i was there, huh? would u say u can’t fuck me cos it’s christmas?

**ermm.. well.. u know. that is different. cos u are like… the north pole?**

wot o.o

**like you are my north pole?**

WOT

**your dick is the pole? of the north? like.. erm. Yeah. i can touch cos… it’s my house?**

Hey. u know Santa lives in Lapland actually

**well. u can land in my lap ;)**

nooooo. i hate that was good! evil evil stupid 

**Uuuuu loved it. u wanna hear me say more things**

u wanna hear me say my thing?

**oooo! yes yes yes plz ! x**

i wanted to say it last time but … scary. like ur face is too good and distracting 

**daaaaan,. stop edging me on this day of tinsel**

ok ok. ok so 

**So? :3333**

i… love you

phil?

did i fuck it up? 

shit. sorry god. 

pretend i never said it

**NOOOOO, will never ever pretend u never just said that. i’m sorry i vanished. i read that whilst eating and i choked on roast potato and erm… yeah it wasn’t pretty. had to be a bit first aided. but u are! you’re so pretty. i love you too, you know that? i love u so much and i wish you were here with me right now so I could fuck u in front of Santa**

PHIL?!?!!! you wanna fuck me in front of Santa

**i didn’t mean it literally xD i just meant…like i love u so much i would taint this day just to see u happy … and 2 see u cum ;). Dan > Christmas.**

taint…. Lmaoooo. 

I can’t wait to see u. oh. also i love my present so much. i’m going to cuddle it and pretend its u :D

**Daaaan :(. i wish u weren’t so far away. wish u could be sat right beside me… giving me ur roast potatoes cos i think i deserve extras**

u literally just choked on a potato XD

**u choked on … no i won’t say it.**

ur dick?

**yes! u said it so it’s ok**

are u trying to make a point about how i came back 4 more dick so u can come back 4 more potato

**exactly! u know me so well <3\. This is why we are in looooove. **

Christmas Day 2010:

**board game timeeeee**

u forcing ur family again?

**it’s fun!**

yeah huh

**u ok ? :(**

Oh yeah. just like… family lol. 

**:(((((. wanna skype in a bit? Can distract u with my magic show**

is that about ur dick?

**NO. i got a literal magic box of tricks**

oh god. that’s somehow even worse. but I…. Wanna see ur face really bad ;3. so yeah. 

**I got u something 4 next time u come over <3**

u already gave me a presentttttt

**yeah well. i think u deserve all the presents**

Phil :( fuck i miss u so much. can i go back in time and we are just rave treeing still

**one day we will have our own together rave tree that we can look at every morniiinnngg <3**

Yeah? u think? 

**I know, dan**

i just feel like im gonna be stuck here forever sometimes lol

**i won’t let that happen. Willl literally stage a rescue mission if i have 2 XD**

yeah u gonna use your muscles to rescue me from my beige tower prison?

**yeees. will fight the dragon and everything**

who is the Dragon o.0

**omg shtuup don’t tell ur mum i said that**

Lmaoooo xD promise. i’ll leave u 2 your board games now

**no :(  
**   
**unless u wanna bit of time alone?**

i’m just gonna go have a nap. have fun<3\. u deserve all the fun

**so do u :(.txt me when u wake up? wanna Skype right away. miss ur face. miss ur dimples. miss u. wanna just…. be with u**

one day?

**yh. Definitely.if i have to spend one more morning waking up without u…. gonna get angry >:(. Watch out for Phil Hulk Lester**

u just want me 2 take care of ur morning wood ;)

**nooo. i wanna make pancakes with u and spoon u and u and fight about brushing teeth cos u probably will spit on my head when i lean down…or something**

sorry i’m so shit 2day. i know it’s not just sex… i’m just bad at feelings cos I like feel… i don’t know.don’t deserve u lol

**hey, dan?**

yh?

**i love u. so much the most. more than i love this little floaty hot chocolate marshmallows. not about deserving, it’s about how much u make me feel.and i always feel loved when i'm with you.make my heart go AHH!!!!!**

Making some1 cry on christmas day is illegal <3 ;3

I love u too. so much. u make me feel all the things i thought i wasn’t allowed 2 feel 

**go take your nap? the sooner u sleep the sooner i get 2 see your face <3**

Yes, sir. enjoy your games :D

Christmas Day 2011:

Can’t wait to come back home.sick of this already

**but u are seeing your dog!!!!!**

ya. only good part 

**u get anything good this year?**

yeah,phil, got 2 move in with you

**yeah that was really fucking good wasn’t it?**

a swear :o

**only u get 2 hear**

u know it’s like… sexy?

**Yeah ;). i know. u always get extra loud when i swear**

I’m always loud

**Yeah, i luv it**

bit horny…

**Yeah? what’re you doing?**

just upstairs. Everyone is watching the queens speech lol 0.o

**Oh? and ur upstairs touching yourself?**

not yet.. could be, tho. If u want

**god. gimme a sec**

**Ok. Abandoned family**

**wanna skype?**

god I wishhh :( stupid wi-fi isn’t working.

**then i guess i’ll just go to my big folder of dan getting fucked**

take up most of your brain xD?

**Yeah, actually. think about u all the time**

what’d u think about phil?

**the noises u make. how sensitive you are**

**you touching yourself?**

Yeah, thinking about how you fucked me just before I left.

**god. Wanted to keep you in bed all Christmas.**

one year. one year we won’t leave 

**Yeah? want that? want a whole day of just taking each other apart?**

want u all the time, phil. you make me feel so fucking much. 

**you know what i’m thinking about right now? Watching my cock go in and out of you, how well u take it. you were made for me**

god ,wanna see. Want u to film it one day

**yh? wanna see how fucking pretty you look? how good you sound?**

Wanna see what u look like, fuck. Wanna see your face so i know how good i’m making u feel 

**u always make me feel good. think u literally broke me when u decided to ride me the other day. still thinking about the way your hips moved, how u fucking looked. like you were taking all the pleasure for yourslef. love when ur selfish. when u use me**

shit, phil. sometimes u just feel so good i forget. just can’t help but think about myself

**it’s hot, so hot. that’s what i want. don’t even care about myself. just care about u, about making u cum.**

want you to come inside me. want you to watch it dribble down my thighs. 

**well. so much for not wanking on christmas. now i gotta go clean up before movie time :3**

Christmas Day 2012:

i’m sorry. 

**for what?**

You know what. Everything. This entire fucking year. I’ve been shit.

**No, it’s just been a shit year.**

you don’t have to be nice to me cos it’s christmas lol.

**Dan, shutup. when have I not been nice to you?**

Sorry, fuck, that came out wrong. you know what i meant. see this is why i’m so fucking stupid. i can’t even say that right

**Dan, stop it, yeah? give yourself a day off**

Right. 

**I’m not shouting at you. I just don’t know what to tell you anymore, apart from it’s not your fault, it’s not something you keep having to shout at yourself for. I love you and that’s that.**

I love you, too. I know i’m like… crap at that lately.

**I know you do.**

You do?

**Yeah. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.**

I think i’m going to go to the doctors, or a therapist. Or something. I’m not being fair on you. I don’t want to keep taking it out on you but i keep fucking up. I know it’s not your fault and I know you love me..and I just fuckign know everything. But sometimes my brain tells me that i don’t deserve what i know, to push you away. let someone better have u 

**I don’t want anyone else, I want you. It’s always been you, Dan.**

I’m sorry. 

**You don’t have to keep saying it. I already know you feel bad about it all, it’s all over your face all the time. your expressions are bad at behaving like u want them to, you know? I know you don’t mean it cos half the time you look like u just wanna burst into tears.**

When I come back can we talk properly? about everything. I think i have some stuff to tell you. 

**Yeah, course, Dan. Love you. x**

Love you, too. x

-

Christmas Day 2013: 

**tummy full**

it’s latteeee. why are you still eating? greedy 

**Went downstairs to get drink. cake still on the side. illegal to not eat, right?**

Mhm, illegal. m a bit drunky

**Oh?**

yeah oohhhh. My mum got me a bottle of Malibu 

**feeling alright?**

Yeaaah. wavey. Weeee. the ceiling is so high up 

**you’re very tall**

taller than you

**Yes :(**

**haha kidding about the :( i find it too hot. Probably**

too hot?

**yeah like i was always the tallest. and when i met you and you like juuuuust seemed to over take me i was like oh.. tall boyfriend <33333**

got a height kink idk about ?

**got a everything about you kink actually. But yeah. god. I just loved having to do a tiny tip toe to kiss you.**

Remember when your York hoodie used to swamp me? 

**yeah. You’regetting broader.**

Like it? 

**ohhhh you’re in flirty i want compliments drunk mode xD**

lil bit. tell me

**dan u literally get hotter every single day. half the time idk what to do with how pretty i think you are**

mhm, good. keep stroking my ego

**will stroke something else**

Heeeey downstairs with my gran. no turning me on 

**Looool. sorry.back to sincere dan is pretty compliments**

mhm, yeah. like that

**Like your hands? not in a hand job way. just like how big they are. make MINE look small. love it when we hold hands and they like… just fit.**

u don’t have small hands 

**compared 2 u !**

u just wanna be tiny u like macro… whatever that kink is called

**wanna be sat on and squashed**

Ohhh shutup, no horny talk extends 2 know sitting on face talk

**boooooring.**

**how is gran? Say i said hi!**

she said oh that phil? GROSS

**:(**

kidding. she loves u. she wants to pinch ur cheeks

and tell u that she likes u and me and how happy u make me look

sometimes i think she knows

**yeah? do you think you’d tell her first?**

idk. i suppose i spent most my time with her as a kid, she probably knows me most. 

**you’re not still feeling bad about not telling people right?**

i just feel like I wanna show off about you sometimes and i can’t. Because my brain lol

**you know I don’t mind? it’s about you, and you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Your pace.**

yeah, i know its just… the people in your life know. 

**yeah, but that was my decision. the same way this is yours**

Yeah, yeah. fuck. one day

**i’m coming back a couple days early**

OHH????

**yeah. mum and dad have some people to visit. rather be home with you than sat in this house by myself**

ok… good. Not to say haha you can’t spend more time with your family.. but good. being selfish today. 

Christmas Day 2014: 

Going home

**What?**

i’m going home. just don’t ask. 

**Oh. Want me to come back?**

no you have a nice time.see you when you get back

**i’m going to come back**

no 

**yeah**

no. i’m going home and you’re staying there cos your family aren’t being dicks. 

**dan :(. come here?**

what? 

**come here? you can spend it with us. My mum is always going on about you**

i’ll see when i can get a train.

Christmas Day 2015:

better this year

**Yeah? Good. Glad you’re having a nice time. Miss you :( durnk and missss ya**

You’re drunk?

**Yes! i have been drinking stupid champagne …**

Cute. You’re supposed to be editing todays gaming video, you know?

**erm… no**

ya

**Well.i think actually u are**

Looks like it

**Sorry :( do u hate me?**

no, stupid. 

**so u will?**

Yeaaah, I will.

**:D ! that means we’re in love**

we are? 6 years.. huh?

**many years, liked them all. like you. so much.**

hope so. :P 

**no!i do somuch. wanna like write you a poem but i don’t know how to. erm love you ! yeah. that’s a poem**

loved it. gonna print it out and stick it on the fridge 

**whatcha doing?**

think i’m gonna go stand in the garden for ten minutes. feel so hot

**can i call you? need to ask you a few things about the gaming video**

yeeees. dan voice

-

**erm so**

you just had a wank in the back garden, yeah 

**god. what do u do to me? stop being so powerful. need some dan Howell protection on my brain**

m8, done whatever you’ve told me to for the last 6 years. think at this point we’re too far gone to try and stop anything

**Did my editing tips at least help?**

oh, yeah, they helped ;) 

Christmas Day 2016:

Look ! me and Colin have matching christmas jumpers

**God. Steal him?**

I wish. Sometimes i think if our landlord would let me have a dog… Colin would be in my backpack. 

**We should get a house, shouldn't we? Or at least a nicer landlord**

We’re literally just about to moooove. we just signed a year long lease with non dog flat

**We’re so stupid sometimes**

At least we have a big ol’ balcony, maybe we’ll get some wildlife on there. 

**Like a pigeon?**

Yeah, like a pigeon. we can adopt it

**would u let me have a wild pigeon as a pet, Mr Howell?**

u know you'd just give me big old puppy eyes after the first no and I'd eventually give in and we’ll literally have a bird flying around the flat

**it’s a nice flat, isn’t it? like we picked good**

Yeah, still can’t believe we can just… do that. Remember when we first moved here and we didn’t even know if we had the radio?

**can i tell you a secret?**

Mhm

**I always thought we’d get the show, thats why i like pushed for it so much. you’re brilliant, Dan, and you bring out even more in me.. like i become more of an entertainer with you, or whatever, I think what we sent was good. I had proper faith in us.**

Damn. Well. I’m glad one of us did. I thought they were gonna be like we’ll take Phil… but leave that depressing emo off the air

**well… :P i would've paid the bills ;)**

ha! thanks so much. maybe i should’ve gone down the sugar daddy route. Phil. You know that Gucci coat I was pining over in that window? can i have it? 

**Yeah.**

hate that you mean that. hate that you’d dress me head to toe in expensive shit and STILL Walk around in topman 24/7

**well, you know, anything to see you happy. anything to see u looking hot in fancy clothes ;)**

Oh! so it is for you. you just wanna see all that thigh meat on show.

**can you blame me? have you seen you**

No. i close my eyes every time i walk past a mirror

**well open them next time.seea sexy man for the first Time in your life**

i see u every day m8

**Flattered <3\. get anything good?**

bits and bobs. my mum really tried this year. think it’s… getting better. 

**Yeah? Good. You know you can invite her down to London one day, show off your big ol fancy flat**

Yeah, maybe, dunno. I think i like.. wanna come out, idk. don’t wanna be like this is Phil’s room and this is my room when it’s just obvious that we sleep together in one

**your decision still**

I know, I know. 

Whatcha doing?

**being stupid**

**Trying to convince my mum that monopoly is a good idea**

Ooooft. Asking for trouble there, Lester. 

-

Christmas Day 2017:

**Merry Christmas to dan and his sexy sexy curls**

oh shutup. 

**can’t wait 2 be back home so i can spend the whole of 2018 kissing them**

u gotta quiff it up soon

**not the time**

u spend the whole of non camera time with a quiff.

**yeaaaah, but that’s just in front of u. The camera expect the fringe**

Stop giving into expectations. The quiff is a look

**You just like 24/7 access to forehead kisses**

it’s a good forehead. It’s like constantly asking to be kissed

**it’s for Daniel Howell only**

vip access?

**exactly. Please show your badge at the door**

you’re so weird. 

love you

I think i might … try for birthday

**hm?**

Dunno., to come out, mums birthday

but is that crap? like happy birthday mum i’m gay let’s talk about me

**no, not crap. If it feels right, then do it. if it still feels like the wrong time then that’s still ok**

how’s the isle? 

**good! cold. misses you. I love that u were here with me for a while**

I think your mum wanted to chain me up to the radiator and have me stay for Christmas 

**she was gonna. had to talk her out of it**

I wanna try one day, I think. do they wholesignificant other family Christmas split. like with your for Christmas day, with my family for boxing day… with you. I want you to come. 

**I’d love that. My mum is lowkey obsessed with you. think we’re going to have to fist fight for place of favourite son**

Phil

Does she know? 

** I’ve never told her **

Yeah, god, of course. I know you haven’t. But does she know? 

** I think so, yeah. She’s good at knowing stuff. Think she sees that I follow you around with heart eyes, or whatever **

I thought I was the one with those? 

** we both have those **

as it should be 

Christmas Day 2018:

I can’t do it

**Alright, then don’t do it.**

I literally had everyone sat down and acted like I was gonna do some big announcement. Then i chickened out. god I can’t fucking do this in person, Phil. I instead told them some stupid tour story.

**And that’s fine, you tried and the time didn’t feel right.**

It was just.. everyone looking at me like that, you know. if they hate me i’ll be able to read it all on their faces and idk if I can do that right now. just see it all… if I do it over the phone, or whatever, at least I won’t be able to see their faces drop. 

**How do you think they’re going to react, Dan? Deep down.**

I… Don’t know. like, they’re never.. homophobic right in front of me lol. like if there’s a gay couple kissing on the tv they don’t flinch, or anything. but that’s different, isn’t it? cos on the tv it’s random people, and i’m me. like she’s literally my mum

**Yeah, that makes sense. Proud of you, you know that <3.**

Yeeeah, I know. I just wish i could’ve ripped the bandaid off. 

**Ripping a bandaid off hurts.**

I love you.

**And I love you.**

I think they’re trying to make me something vegan. I feel bad cos i literally ate non dairy ice cream direct from the tub last night

**:o daniel u are getting a… nut roast**

the only roasted nut I want it yours<3

**Do you think that’s possible?**

what to roast your cum?

**I mean.. that sounds really awful when you put it like that, but yeah.Like if i caught some, put it on a baking tray**

Phil, please use the little button on the back of your head to turn your brain off for today

**It’s a legit question!**

it’s just.. wet! it’d probably be like, idk, a boiled sweet

**like a werthers original?**

phil’s cum Edition 

**limited edition.like gamer girl bath water**

jesus.I know you like your merch but please don’t do that

**it’s a very limited batch, only available for Daniel Howells to buy**

I have to buy your come now?

**if i’ve gone through the effort of catching it in a cup and baking it.. yeah? that’s hard labour**

you’re hard labour

-

Christmas Day 2019:

Merry GAYMASSSS.

**:D DAN GAY!**

yeah, fuck, Phil.Like I didn’t know how it was going to feel this year, but if feels fucking amazing. everyone has just been.. good.I feel like I can be my proper self for the first time in ever.

**You look… glowy**

just given birth to a gay video

**and what a good gay video it is**

yeaaah, but so was yours

**hush. my mum said you have to come visit her or she’ll cry**

no she didn’t

**ok i said the crying part**

i know. 10 years of knowing u means i can tell

**10 years…**

isn’t it weird that we’ve never actually spent Christmas day together? 

**yeah, but like everyone is so far. driving scary**

driving isn’t scary, you on the road in a car is scary. there is a difference. 

**can you not insult me when i’mbusy telling u i am in love with you?**

sowwy. 

**better be :3**

oh? furry christmas?

**it’s literally always a furry Christmas with me involved**

we should try next year. to do the whole jumping between family thing

**Yeah? i’d like that. Ready to spend so much time with Colin**

ok not me?

**i mean.. you’re alright.. but have you seen colin?**

Damn, u right :/

**my mum said she loves you**

goddddd. Shut. I’m not crying

**she said i had to tell you or i was banned from trying to force the board games!**

tell her i love her to and just… thanks 

-

Christmas Day 2020:

It’s not how they thought it would happen, but it’s happening. Dan rolls right into Phil, buries his face away in the crook of his neck—smiling too much to be seen.

“Morning. Merry Christmas.”

Phil just grunts, all inelegant and stupid—all Dan could ever want. 

“Cool, love to communicate in noises.”

Phil laughs, deep and barely awake. It’s odd, that this is actually happening. Together for eleven years and this is the first Christmas they’ve actually woken up together.

Eves, boxing days, the days leading up to the event have been shared before. But never the actual day. It’s a novelty, one Dan doesn’t want to get used to because then he’ll miss it too much every other year. 

“Hi—Christmas.”

“Oh. He speaks! Sort of.” 

“S’early.” Phil whines, flaps his hand around until it lands on Dan’s shoulder, until he can push Dan away so he can snuggle into him. 

“Is.” Dan agrees, because he’d felt a bit like a kid again. Gotten up earlier than he has in years, something about the excitement of spending the actual day with the love of your life had possessed him to get up before the sun. “Got you things.”

“Oh?” That perks Phil up a bit, no longer a soft warm blob pressed up against Dan’s side—now a little more awake. “Got you things, too.”

“Is the thing you dick?” Dan asks, because he can feel _something_ pressed up against his thigh. 

“No. That just wanted to say hello, special occasion and everything. Christmas dick.” 

“Got some tinsel wrapped around it?”

“No.” Phil snorts, presses a wet, sloppy kiss to the side of Dan’s neck—might be trying to start something. “That’d be well itchy.” 

“I saw you trying it the other day, mate.”

“Stop mating me!” 

“Na, like annoying you.” Dan whispers, a bit out of it, a bit taken in by all that is Phil. “Anyway, avoiding the subject.”

“I just… wanted to see if a tinsel dick would look nice. You’re the one who put some on the toilet. You should’ve known my brain would make that happen.” 

“Yeah.” Dan agrees. “I should’ve known.” 

“Mhm.”

“Phil?”

“Yeah.” 

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Howell.”

**Author's Note:**

> thankyou for reading! cal i hope i managed to create you a little thing you enjoyed!!!!!
> 
> [if you wanna rebloggy on tumblr! :) ](https://fictropes.tumblr.com/post/638576776879144960/11-years-of-christmas-christmas-texts-throughout)


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